The Quest

Anyone who has ever known me knows that I believe in Fairy Tales. I cling at the idea that happy endings are possible, that dreams do come true. And that I am a hopeless romantic.
I know that it's not always possible for the happy endings to happen, I feel really bad for all the broken relationships; the sleepless nights induced by a broken heart.
Now, I find myself, with everything that I ever dreamed of: a future with an amazing man whom I'm crazy about and funnily enough, he feels the same way about me. And the phrase I've heard the most these past months is,
"I just want you to be happy-why can't you let go and just be happy?"
I can barely commit to coffee in the office, yet I'm going to commit to forever with this guy? I'll admit it, it's a bit scary. It's all happening so fast, I barely have time to keep up. But this is what I've wanted. I keep telling people, when it's right, it's right. It'll happen. Not only does it feel right, but it's happening. And I'm shitting my pants. I have everything I believed would make me happy and yet I run away from it. I'm terrified of being happy. A theory thrown my way was, because I've been searching for it for so long, once I've achieved it, I'd be afraid that I wouldn't know what to do anymore. I would like to disagree. When things are important to me, they get taken away from me. So I've learned not to misappropriate value to people or things. As we've all learnt by now, everything is temporary. I don't want to deal with the pain.
I have something, so precious, something that makes me happy and feel alive. It makes me feel all so warm and fuzzy inside. It's important. It's priceless. And because it has such high value, I feel like it will at any second be taken away from me.
Which is why I'm a walking contradiction. Every moment I get, I tell him I love him - you know, just in case something happens to me. Yet every gesture of care he shows me, I'm hesitant in accepting it because I don't know how long it will last.
Is this making any sense? I'm so used to drama in my life, now that I have a normal relationship, I invent the drama because I don't think this is real.
ARGH!
I need to let go of all the scary elements and just embrace life and be happy. One day at a time.