Cold Turkey

I'm staring my hit, right in the face. I want to pick it up so badly.
Take a puff. Just one. But I know I shouldn't.
And so I'm at deadlock.

***

Excerpt:

"So thats it? You're just gonna let go? Just like that?"
No. Like this.
and everything fades into black

Wanted: Detox

I'm trying to get over my latest addiction. I did a quick recap and found out that I've been indulging in it once a week, with the exception of one (which was agony). I cannot go a week without this new drug.

*damn*

Last Friday, I upped the dosage level and the effects are now wearing off. I'm crashing big time and going compeletely nuts. This is why I try to avoid bad habits: I get hooked so damn easily and I have a bitch of a time trying to stay clean. Just so you know, it wasn't a huge dosage, it was fairly minimal. God only knows what I'd be like if I take it in properly.

*damn*damn*

I'm not trying to go cold turkey, even though I know that's the only way to get through it. I have a hit and a half left. I can't just let it go.
Not yet. For now, I'll look and not touch. But when needed, I might give in.
Once its over though, it's over.
I won't ask for more.
I'll just let it be.
Hopefully, I won't ever go down that road again.