All I needed was more time to understand. And now I do.
Even if, I've always known. Mistakes can be avoided, even if just narrowly.
I have finally accepted what everyone was telling me. Alex would be happy, he's long been pining for me to give up.
I've been swinging highs and lows so often, I keep wondering what's wrong with me. I even deny that the highs at times come from the hits. I guess I should just keep myself clean. Addiction is a bad thing, as well as expensive and I can't afford any vices right now.
Its just that today, my usual source for a high just didn't kick in. Nothing does. Its the apathy that scares me. I need to deal with this. Or find another way to get trippy.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
happy place vs the jungle
I've always known myself to be geared towards the sinister. I'm kind of an easy going person by nature. Usually happy, easily amused. But just because I've been branded by my friends as a girly girl, that doesn't mean, I'm all sugar and spice and fluffy bunny ears.
I like mysteries and the macabre. Give me gory, scary anyday. I do enjoy good sit coms too. I'm not always that depressing...or am I?
While on the topic of friends, I found myself going home to an empty house with no goal. I wanted to go out, but there was no one to go out with. I need to make more friends and be more present. I was tempted to drink a bottle of red wine by myself. That's how you know you've become an alcoholic. As well as a pathetic excuse for a human being.
In other news, I'm stoked as I'm taking 2 1/2 days off work. YIPEE!
Guess where I'm going? Seriously, take a stab at it.
No? Well, I'm heading to Brussels to be with Leo! The office is closed for whatever holiday, so he's off and I'm going. We haven't decided yet where we'll go, but 5 days away should be fun.
I like mysteries and the macabre. Give me gory, scary anyday. I do enjoy good sit coms too. I'm not always that depressing...or am I?
While on the topic of friends, I found myself going home to an empty house with no goal. I wanted to go out, but there was no one to go out with. I need to make more friends and be more present. I was tempted to drink a bottle of red wine by myself. That's how you know you've become an alcoholic. As well as a pathetic excuse for a human being.
In other news, I'm stoked as I'm taking 2 1/2 days off work. YIPEE!
Guess where I'm going? Seriously, take a stab at it.
No? Well, I'm heading to Brussels to be with Leo! The office is closed for whatever holiday, so he's off and I'm going. We haven't decided yet where we'll go, but 5 days away should be fun.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Brugge
*original post 04.20.09*
I was feeling weary overall, but just as excited to go. With ID card in one hand and airline receipt in another, I ventured off. When I left Italy, it was sunny, warm and beautiful. I reached Brussels and it was grey, raining and depressing. Nice. My weekend was off to a "promising" start. I arrived at 5.30ish pm. My feet were hurting from all the walking I had to do to get out of the airport.
After 15 minutes of running and following the exit signs. I made it to the train station and bought 2 tickets for Midi. My knight in shinning armour was actually armed with an umbrella, which came in useful. Leo met me at Midi coming straight from work. We headed home and I got out of my *awful* boots (which I would have to wear for the remainder of the trip-yes, the one that just started) and rested up with Leo. He made dinner! He's a really good cook. But since it was the Greek Good Friday (as if, one Good Friday wasn't enough for me), we had to eat fast-able kind of foods. He made pasta with red sauce.
After dinner and lounging at home, we got ready to go out. You'd think it be to paint the town red, but as I've already mentioned, it was their Good Friday. We went to church to observe his traditions. It was really interesting, if I wasn't so tired and my didn't feet hurt.
Next morning we got up to a cloudy, overcast Brussels. We decided to try to head to Brugge anyway.I had no expectations about Brugge (and Brussels for that matter!), but when we got to the city, I fell in love with it instantly. We walked out of the train station and into a postcard! The picture on the left was exactly what we walked into 2 minutes away from the station. It was so pretty! It was a nearly cloudless day, with fresh air and clean streets. It seemed that Brugge was one big park that we were free to explore. We headed towards the cathedral as we assumed thats where the center was. The street we were walking through seemed closed off to all cars which made walking in the middle of the road so pleasurable. Everyone had told us to get bikes once we get there as Brugge was biker friendly. Now, big secret: I never learnt to ride the bike properly. Why I never told Leo is a mystery to me, as we got to ride the bikes together!
While we were biking through the city center we came across this. Isn't it pretty?
Just one of the many parks found within Brugge. I love Tulips!
I was feeling weary overall, but just as excited to go. With ID card in one hand and airline receipt in another, I ventured off. When I left Italy, it was sunny, warm and beautiful. I reached Brussels and it was grey, raining and depressing. Nice. My weekend was off to a "promising" start. I arrived at 5.30ish pm. My feet were hurting from all the walking I had to do to get out of the airport.
After 15 minutes of running and following the exit signs. I made it to the train station and bought 2 tickets for Midi. My knight in shinning armour was actually armed with an umbrella, which came in useful. Leo met me at Midi coming straight from work. We headed home and I got out of my *awful* boots (which I would have to wear for the remainder of the trip-yes, the one that just started) and rested up with Leo. He made dinner! He's a really good cook. But since it was the Greek Good Friday (as if, one Good Friday wasn't enough for me), we had to eat fast-able kind of foods. He made pasta with red sauce.
After dinner and lounging at home, we got ready to go out. You'd think it be to paint the town red, but as I've already mentioned, it was their Good Friday. We went to church to observe his traditions. It was really interesting, if I wasn't so tired and my didn't feet hurt.
Next morning we got up to a cloudy, overcast Brussels. We decided to try to head to Brugge anyway.I had no expectations about Brugge (and Brussels for that matter!), but when we got to the city, I fell in love with it instantly. We walked out of the train station and into a postcard! The picture on the left was exactly what we walked into 2 minutes away from the station. It was so pretty! It was a nearly cloudless day, with fresh air and clean streets. It seemed that Brugge was one big park that we were free to explore. We headed towards the cathedral as we assumed thats where the center was. The street we were walking through seemed closed off to all cars which made walking in the middle of the road so pleasurable. Everyone had told us to get bikes once we get there as Brugge was biker friendly. Now, big secret: I never learnt to ride the bike properly. Why I never told Leo is a mystery to me, as we got to ride the bikes together!
I was falling half the time, and it wasn't until an hour later of hard riding that I got comfortable on it.
While we were biking through the city center we came across this. Isn't it pretty?
Just one of the many parks found within Brugge. I love Tulips! We didn't stay too late, being tired and all. We went back to the train station and headed back to Brussels. Overall, I loved the city and would go back the next time I'm in Belgium. I enjoyed it, especially after I got the hang of riding a bike.
Monday, May 04, 2009
May, starting over
I had put off changing my cars headlight (yes, yes, reckless I know) for a while now and it wasn't until today that I got round to it. Something as simple as changing a car headlight would be easy for anyone else BUT me. It should have taken 5 minutes - for me it took half an hour. The guy had to dismantle practically my entire left side to get to the light.
***
Ever since the break in, I've avoided ironing if I could, unless absolutely necessary (like if it was an outfit I was going to wear and couldn't pull off the wrinkled look). Last night, was the first time in a really, really long time that I enjoyed ironing again. For one thing, it kept me warm during this schizo freak weather. That and I was watching replays of the X-files. I couldn't remember the last time I watched something I was so interested in and had me laughing out loud.
***
April had its pro's and cons. More cons than pro's personally, but I'll do a list tomorrow so I won't ever forget. That way, I'll appreciate more the good stuff when it happens.
***
Ever since the break in, I've avoided ironing if I could, unless absolutely necessary (like if it was an outfit I was going to wear and couldn't pull off the wrinkled look). Last night, was the first time in a really, really long time that I enjoyed ironing again. For one thing, it kept me warm during this schizo freak weather. That and I was watching replays of the X-files. I couldn't remember the last time I watched something I was so interested in and had me laughing out loud.
***
April had its pro's and cons. More cons than pro's personally, but I'll do a list tomorrow so I won't ever forget. That way, I'll appreciate more the good stuff when it happens.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
3rd time lucky
The first time, it had shattered. The second, it didn't even work. Finally, after going up and down the ladder numerous times, holding the case in the left hand and a screw driver in the right hand, I managed.
My kitchen light bulb has been causing me grief for some time, and honestly, I think I need to change the casing, the wattage just isn't enough. Nevertheless, I can only tackle one thing at a time. I finally changed the light bulb, and I did it all by myself. Half way through the second switch (faulty light bulb), I was humming to myself, "I don't need a man" - although, I'll be the first to admit that when it didn't work, I wished for half a second that I wasn't doing this on my own.
In anycase, I managed! Yipee! There is light in my kitchen....let the wonders begin....
My kitchen light bulb has been causing me grief for some time, and honestly, I think I need to change the casing, the wattage just isn't enough. Nevertheless, I can only tackle one thing at a time. I finally changed the light bulb, and I did it all by myself. Half way through the second switch (faulty light bulb), I was humming to myself, "I don't need a man" - although, I'll be the first to admit that when it didn't work, I wished for half a second that I wasn't doing this on my own.
In anycase, I managed! Yipee! There is light in my kitchen....let the wonders begin....
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