screws - dreamers

maybe i'm a dreamer too?

Screws
Dreamers


Don't take your time
Don't take it easy on me
'Cause I'm running wild
Hot like a broken machine

[Pre-Chorus]
Tell it like it is
Wash away my sins
Digging up the bones inside my head

[Chorus]
All I needed was to hear the truth
I'm lying naked and my brain has lost its screws
I hid away inside a lonely room
Never as lonely as when I'm alone with you
I'm such a wreck
Toxic is tasting so sweet
Don't let me rest
Stuck in this static TV

[Pre-Chorus]
Tell it like it is
Wash away my sins
Digging up the bones inside my head

All I needed was to hear the truth
I'm lying naked and my brain has lost its screws
I hid away inside a lonely room
Never as lonely as when I'm alone with you

[Refrain]
Ah, alone with you, ah
Ah, alone with you, ah
My brain!
My brain!
My brain!
My brain!

[Chorus]
All I needed was to hear the truth
I'm lying naked and my brain has lost its screws
I hid away inside a loaded room
Never as lonely as when I'm alone with you

Ah, alone with you, ah
Ah, alone with you, ah
(Alone, hey, alone)
Alone with you

Dear Mars,

Maybe this can help you...

I'm not saying, break up! just channel your emotions, if you can manage them...and create something beautiful.

i'm sure you can create something. you always could. you just need to try

posters on the wall

i have on my wall in the philippines, all these different love quotes i can't even remember half of them now... but suddenly, i remembered this one....

"you can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving,"
and that puzzled me for the longest time. how can you give without love.
but now i get it... you can give... you give out of habit, out of manners, out of obligation....
without thoughtfulness, you can give...

but when you love. oh. when you care? it happens without even realizing that you're giving. your time. yourself. you give until there's nothing left to give and then you find that when called upon, you can give some more....

and that is the greatest love lesson i have learnt.

i o u

is what i'm really enjoying at the moment

I O U
You Me At Six

With a voice just like a razor
Only time can erase ya
The memory of you is unclear
In my rear view you disappear
We're familiar to foreign
You know the disco in the chorus
And usually I would've folded, but

But not tonight
I ain't gonna be alone, ain't gonna be alone
But not tonight
Ain't gonna be alone, ain't gonna be alone, oh

I, I, I, I, I
'Cause I owe you, you, you
Yeah, I owe you, you, you
And I'm talking about you, you, you
I'm talking about you, you, you

Oh I want to hear your story
Whilst I work through your inventory
Your one-liners leave a shiner
You're not sober, and I'm not either
Oh, I wouldn't see, I'm perfect
You can tell that from the surface
But I'd like to know your verdict, oh

'Cause tonight
Yeah, I wanna take you home
Yeah, I wanna take you home
'Cause tonight
Shouldn't have to be alone
Shouldn't have to be alone, oh

I, I, I, I, I
'Cause I owe you, you, you
Yeah, I owe you, you, you
And I'm talking about you, you, you
I'm talking about you, you, you

Your decision for my admission
Was a plot twist, I must have missed it
I know we're a work in progress
I guess that I should be honest
Hell, no
Where this will go, oh oh oh, oh oh?

But, I owe you
'Cause I owe you, you, you
Yeah, I owe you, you, you
And I'm talking about you, you, you
And I'm talking about you, you, you

losing you

song of the moment

Losing You
You Me At Six

Here we go again
It seems as though I've found myself another ledge
To step off and fill my head with regret
With regret, here we go again
I dress up my problems and shelve them
It never ends, oh, it never ends, yeah
And someone said that I'll be better off in the end
I just can't see that yet
I just can't see that yet, that yet

I can't stand losing you
After all that we've been through
Sometimes there's no coming back
And I'm folding into you, when I've got no right to
I just want to make it right
I've run out of time, I've run out of time

Here we go again
This time I made things a little more permanent
Wrestled with the voices inside my head
No longer heaven sent
I know, I know, I know I'm not the only one
I know, I know, I know you want someone you can trust
Someone you can love, someone you can touch
Feel the warmth from when the lights are off, yeah

I can't stand losing you
After all that we've been through
Sometimes there's no coming back
And I'm folding into you, when I've got no right to
I just want to make it right
And I can't stand losing you
And after all that we've been through
I just want to make it right
I've run out of time, I've run out of time

I just can't stand losing you
After all that we've been through
After all that we've been through
I just can't stand losing you
After all that we've been through
After all that we've been through

Hello

I'm imagining myself up the tank right now and our conversation would start with a hello.
The whole point of this blog is to put myself up there with you...and sometimes I forget that. That if i want to see you, or feel you, I don't need to wait until Sunday's or go to your House. I have the tank.
The sunsets that you send, the stars you light up and of course, the occasional bats.

This has been crazy and emotional and draining.

this has to end, I just don't know how to do it without someone losing. without hurting anyone. someone will be hurt. why can't that someone be me?

we had lunch with Genie today. he's situation made me laugh and I'm sorry to have laughed at him but, he's such a guy. he couldn't even take responsibility for what was happening.

he's in a relationship now. she wants to have kids. he doesn't. she wants him to marry her. he can't. she wants a commitment in any shape or form - including just getting a dog together - he's not interested. but he can't get himself to leave her.

i want validation so bad - but at what cost? my pride will cost me my family.... is that a price i'm ready to pay?

because i don't always say so

he's slowly, finally, warming up.
neo's been back for 10 days now and since sunday he's easing in and being more relaxed.
he came with me to drop the kids off, then with me to the gate of the office and then took the train home.
today he even held my hand while walking :)
i have to admit, i did tell him yesterday i was hoping he'd come in with me as sometimes, some people in the building forget i'm married.
so i was happy that he was marking his territory.

things are slowly going back to normal and i can feel safe again.

back online

i have cable tv but i don't use it too much.
then i found a tv streaming site where i can watch the tv shows i actually want to watch

is it sad that i consider the fictional characters as some of my friends and i'd like to drop into them once a week and see how they are doing?

it brings me back to stability ... makes things familiar...makes me forget the summer

but the summer is calling, and somehow, the reality is muddy again

how to fix a broken heart

came across this today

and thought it was poignant, relevant and useful.

even though we may not be going through heart ache, it doesn't mean that we don't know people who aren't... and we should always afford them the space, the compassion and the tools to help them move on.

happy 5 year anniversary!

so i've been working on this but not enough time to polish it well....

hope this comes out well

poker face

ti vedo strano, che c'é?

i see you odd, whats up

thats my fault for having so many inner demons eat me up on the inside.... he just landed how can i tell him all the bad things that have been consuming me

he burst out crying when we picked him up at the airport.

maybe my strategy was wrong.