Its been an a challenging time for me at WFP, but the important thing is that I strive and have survived on my own. Without much guidance. It took me two years to reach my "level" and for others, two months. While I am happy for my friend, I wonder what I do wrong.
Nevertheless, I will strive to imporve myself to be an asset to my unit. I'll be good and work to the best of my abilities. If there are others who are better than me, good for them, but as long as I work within my capacity, I have nothing to complain.
Bullshit.
This is my insecurity and I have the right to bitch about being insecure if that is my problem.
Leo has a date with his colombian girl classmate and i'm insecure!
*sigh* back to the poise.
Therefore, I will be the understanding girlfriend. He loves me and I know that.
I'm happy for my friends and I will strive to just be a better me.
Learning what I can to improve myself.
Does that sound fake?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Puppies!
I can't remember how Leo and I started calling each other "puppy". I think it was when I was making sad eyes, he called them my "puppy eyes". You know the Big-wide eyed sad look you can pull off?
Well, we have our pet name - no pun intended, and we liked it. I stumbled upon this .gif and I think it captures us. We would talk about how we would love to be in each others arms, with our tails wagging - like puppies! and well, is this picture just the cutest?!
I miss my Leo! But no fear, he'll be coming to Rome soon and that will be great to have him back again. And he's going to try to come to Manila! Isn't that awesome? My tentative dates are: Oct7-17. 14-16 will be in Boracay. 7-11 will just be chilling, hanging out, getting ready for the wedding. Meeting up with you guys, doing the Intramuros walk Ralph recommends. Just taking it easy and I C-A-N-T---W-A-I-T! I hope he'll like it. I hope he'll have fun. I hope you guys like him!
Happy happy Joy Joy! We're coming home!
stealing a previous blog
i love you Leo
you think i'd leave your side baby you know me better than that you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees i wouldn't do that i'll tell you you're right when you want ha ah ah ah ah ah and if only you could see into me oh when you're cold i'll be there hold you tight to me when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in i will show you you're so much better than you know when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again i will find you darling and i will bring you home and if you want to cry i am here to dry your eyes and in no time you'll be fine you think i'd leave your side baby you know me better than that you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees i wouldn't do that i'll tell you you're right when you wrong ha ah ah ah ah ah and if only you could see into me oh when you're cold i'll be there hold you tight to me when you're low i'll be there by your side baby oh when you're cold i'll be there hold you tight to me oh when you're low i'll be there by your side baby - Sade, By your side
you think i'd leave your side baby you know me better than that you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees i wouldn't do that i'll tell you you're right when you want ha ah ah ah ah ah and if only you could see into me oh when you're cold i'll be there hold you tight to me when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in i will show you you're so much better than you know when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again i will find you darling and i will bring you home and if you want to cry i am here to dry your eyes and in no time you'll be fine you think i'd leave your side baby you know me better than that you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees i wouldn't do that i'll tell you you're right when you wrong ha ah ah ah ah ah and if only you could see into me oh when you're cold i'll be there hold you tight to me when you're low i'll be there by your side baby oh when you're cold i'll be there hold you tight to me oh when you're low i'll be there by your side baby - Sade, By your side
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Growing up
When catching up with friends, I've noticed the conversation has turned into swapping tips about insurances, or recipes or spending wisely.
Gone are the days when we talk about the mundane stuff which we once thought were important. Boys, music.
It just amazes me how we just grew up overnight. The struggle we have - on the brighterside, Leo is coming with me to the Philippines - well, he's going to try.
I can't wait!
Let you know my dates in the next blog.
Gone are the days when we talk about the mundane stuff which we once thought were important. Boys, music.
It just amazes me how we just grew up overnight. The struggle we have - on the brighterside, Leo is coming with me to the Philippines - well, he's going to try.
I can't wait!
Let you know my dates in the next blog.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Financial Stress
I've made it into this loophole yet again.
Can someone please tell me, am I supposed to be part of my parents financial stress?
Ok, so they bought me a car - and they resent that.
I could have just taken the public transport and survived. A lot of people do that.
Maybe I should move out. Leave the car, they can sell it right?
*deep breath* never make a decision at the height of your passion remember
Its just that I didn't explain myself clearly enough.
They want to provide for all of us kids. My moms point of view was, if she didn't care. I could have just commuted to work. She didn't have to buy me a car. Ok, now she wants to further more her money for the comfort of everyone else. Which is actually, their responsibility right?
Remind me if I ever forget:
1. Never try to live beyond my means.
2. Never ask my parents for ANYTHING.
Its just that, she bought me a car: yes, but gas, insurance and maintenance is on me. and she wonders why i don't have any savings. hell, i don't earn enough to be able to support myself having a car. so YES, maybe buying the car isn't all that great. but its here and we have to make ends meet.
Is it me? Its just that they need to buy another car - and they will be taking money from me to do so. Its just that...I don't get it. If she wants to provide for the family, why does she have to take me into it?
Am I wrong? Am I selfish? If I move out, does that prove any point?
If I were to live on my own, I'd probably have Leo as my room-mate. Yes, that is short of living together, however, I don't know who else I can trust. Most of my friends can afford to live on their own. They don't need a roommate, besides, they wanted their privacy. I mean, if I lived on my own without a car, yes, I'd save a LOT of money. Public transport would be a bore but its feasible.
I'm not sure if my point is taken here. Or even if I'm making sense. They are the parents. It is their duty to provide for their kids. If they don't want to provide for me anymore they can just tell me to leave the house and I will. It will be tough yes, but I'll manage. If they want to give the rest of the family money, they can but at their expense and not delve into mine.
I'm just tired and I know, not for the first time, Leo's voice is saying I move out.
Its pointless to move out when I know that they are leaving in a years time.
Nevertheless, its going to be a long year.
Can someone please tell me, am I supposed to be part of my parents financial stress?
Ok, so they bought me a car - and they resent that.
I could have just taken the public transport and survived. A lot of people do that.
Maybe I should move out. Leave the car, they can sell it right?
*deep breath* never make a decision at the height of your passion remember
Its just that I didn't explain myself clearly enough.
They want to provide for all of us kids. My moms point of view was, if she didn't care. I could have just commuted to work. She didn't have to buy me a car. Ok, now she wants to further more her money for the comfort of everyone else. Which is actually, their responsibility right?
Remind me if I ever forget:
1. Never try to live beyond my means.
2. Never ask my parents for ANYTHING.
Its just that, she bought me a car: yes, but gas, insurance and maintenance is on me. and she wonders why i don't have any savings. hell, i don't earn enough to be able to support myself having a car. so YES, maybe buying the car isn't all that great. but its here and we have to make ends meet.
Is it me? Its just that they need to buy another car - and they will be taking money from me to do so. Its just that...I don't get it. If she wants to provide for the family, why does she have to take me into it?
Am I wrong? Am I selfish? If I move out, does that prove any point?
If I were to live on my own, I'd probably have Leo as my room-mate. Yes, that is short of living together, however, I don't know who else I can trust. Most of my friends can afford to live on their own. They don't need a roommate, besides, they wanted their privacy. I mean, if I lived on my own without a car, yes, I'd save a LOT of money. Public transport would be a bore but its feasible.
I'm not sure if my point is taken here. Or even if I'm making sense. They are the parents. It is their duty to provide for their kids. If they don't want to provide for me anymore they can just tell me to leave the house and I will. It will be tough yes, but I'll manage. If they want to give the rest of the family money, they can but at their expense and not delve into mine.
I'm just tired and I know, not for the first time, Leo's voice is saying I move out.
Its pointless to move out when I know that they are leaving in a years time.
Nevertheless, its going to be a long year.
Social Justice and Morality
Here's what I don't get about being catholic and filipino. There is no fine line between justice and sacrifice.
This is the deal, although, its not going to make much sense either.
As my dad got up to participate in the offertory during mass, (he brought the bread), two ladies rushed to his seat. Shoving me, my mom and my mom's friend to the side.
Conflicting thoughts rushed to my head.
Should I forgive these obviously rude women? They took my dads place.
Should I inform them that perhaps its better if they arrive to church early, and the spot is taken by my dad?
Should I be understanding, these are women who worked and needed a seat.
But why should I excuse what they do because I know better. There is a difference between being petty and being justified. Yes, I am being petty. But this small example can be amplified and used for bigger and more important things: such as Philippine politics. If we don't stand up for ourselves when we know we are being wronged, then things will still be bad. I'm not talking about calling for a rally down EDSA, but asserting ourselves using the system to work. I guess because we've lost faith in the system. But if we don't try to make it work, if we don't try to make ourselves heard, if we DON'T TRY, then we too are at fault.
So what happened? I let the off. I forgave them, held their hands for Ama namin. Greeted them PEACE when the time came. Why do I go to mass at all when, right there, I lose my faith.
This is the deal, although, its not going to make much sense either.
As my dad got up to participate in the offertory during mass, (he brought the bread), two ladies rushed to his seat. Shoving me, my mom and my mom's friend to the side.
Conflicting thoughts rushed to my head.
Should I forgive these obviously rude women? They took my dads place.
Should I inform them that perhaps its better if they arrive to church early, and the spot is taken by my dad?
Should I be understanding, these are women who worked and needed a seat.
But why should I excuse what they do because I know better. There is a difference between being petty and being justified. Yes, I am being petty. But this small example can be amplified and used for bigger and more important things: such as Philippine politics. If we don't stand up for ourselves when we know we are being wronged, then things will still be bad. I'm not talking about calling for a rally down EDSA, but asserting ourselves using the system to work. I guess because we've lost faith in the system. But if we don't try to make it work, if we don't try to make ourselves heard, if we DON'T TRY, then we too are at fault.
So what happened? I let the off. I forgave them, held their hands for Ama namin. Greeted them PEACE when the time came. Why do I go to mass at all when, right there, I lose my faith.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Whirlwind weekend PART1
The start of something great.
Can you see? It's a butterfly...
spreading open its wings.
Pretty isn't she?
This picture was taken last Saturday....
in Edinburgh!
Yup, you read right, EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND!
And it was quite a trip I can tell you.
Because of the summer schedule here, work wasn't freeing up any day for me to go to the UK. So, I risked it. I took a Friday night plane out of Rome to Prestwick. For anyone who hasn't done this before, and just so you have an idea of what I mean is. Imagine this: you have a friend coming to Manila, but instead of picking them up at NAIA, you have to pick them up at CLARK. Yes, CLARK airbase. The one that is far out of Manila. Prestwick is a completely different city from Edinburgh. Not listening to Leo properly, I took the risky flight. Chancing that it would arrive 11.45pm. We booked the express bus-the only bus from Prestwick to Edinburgh.
I messed up the layout but I'm too tired to change it.
The story will come out very meshed.
Top most picture is taken at one of their main roads, I forgot the name. There were a lot of people as the festival of August was about to begin.
Second shot is taken at Edinburgh's beach / port.Yes they have one. It's name "portobello" - italian!
We walked along the shore. It was really nice and calm.
Third shot was outside the pub where we spent my first 6/7 hours in Scotland at the airport as we missed the one and only midnight bus to Edinburgh. Had to take the morning one at 6.40am.
Fourth shot was Edinburgh Castle at night, after coming back from Portobello. We did a lot of walking. Walked til midnight! I was so tired.
Last shot is taken at the University of Edinburgh, the Old college. Also known as Leo's school.
Its a boring blog but after trouble loading the pics i have no energy to go into details.
Besides, i'm at work and my boss just walked by
*shudder*
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