What do you believe?

After wrestling with the, to go or not to go to Mass, I in the end, decided to go.
I figured, my God deserved every attention from me anyway. Showing up at Sunday mass is like keeping our regular date. So we went.
When we got there, Jane and her brother were there.
The world stopped.
*flashback*
October 2005 - while I was revalidating my passport with Ralph at the DFA, Arnel asked me, what about the other household. Ralph and I were confused. We didn't know of another household.
-sometime later date forgotten-
Dad announces that he will be picking up this guy he asked to be his household driver. A request with no paper proof but just a lot of back door methods.
-that weekend-
Dad picks up the guy and brings him to the house. He brings the sister as well, Jane. Jane met my dad sometime ago when another woman came to the house (mom was here) and cut dad's hair. The said woman asked if my dad could help her bring her child here to Rome as dads dependent. They said they couldn't. Jane on a different and secretive occasion asks my dad if he could help bring her brother from Bahrain to Rome. Dad consents and proceeds with the events above.
-May 2006-
I went home to Manila. Dad gives me USD50 and a list of things he wants bought. Honeymoon tea, 2 boxes. J & J face powder and I forgot the brand, foundation: orange blush 12 mind you and lets not forget the sponge. I know the tea and powder my dad uses himself. But the foundation? I asked, he said, Jane asked him. So the foundation was for Jane. Mom was in the Philippines in this period. When I came back with the stuff he asked me to buy, I never found out when he gave Jane the stuff.
-all other times-
Simulatenously, Kristine has mentioned various stories about my dad. These are all second hand stories: stories which someone else had passed on to Kristine. There was nenita, a person whom my dad was seeing during the first oav. She filed for a travel document and never came back. Apparently, she got a job in the DFA as a contractual, through the help of my dad. There was this ex-novice(nun) who was trying to make herself visible on 16 June, Friday i.e. my dad's birthday. Unfortunately for her, my dad broke his tradition of not taking leave, and went to Capri with my mom. She apparently has been stalking him as well, claiming to all others who would listen, their relationship is serious and they have been seeing each other in the early mornings every day. My dad leaves the house at 4.30-5am, unlike the traffic of Manila at that hour, he would reach his work in 15-20minutes, he claims to do all the paper work at that hour with no distractions. So, it is within these hours he visits her. Then of course there was this incident with Mary Rose-Kristine's friend. We were waiting in the "VIP" place in St. Maria Maggiore to celebrate the promotion of Cardinal Jaime Sanchez (I think) I was seated on a particular row, Mary Rose was behind me some seats away. She and my dad were talking and they looked at me. Dad laughed. I paid no attention. I later learned that the following scenario took place:
Dad: Mary Rose, when are going for dinner? Serious ako.
Mary Rose: Sir naman, nasa harap ko naman si Grace.
-they look at me-
Mary Rose: Si Sir, playboy talaga.
Dad: Well, wala tayo magagawa dyan. *he laughs*

And of course Jane. Jane has not escaped the notice of my dad's colleagues. Especially since she frequents the office and my dad closes the door when they are together. It has been said that my dad has been seen going to the Metro station, meeting with her and leaving with her. On a work day.

When I was younger and still living in London, I looked upon the relationship my dad had with my cousin as innocent. Later on, it exploded that he was having an affair with her. I never got confirmation of that. Just my mom and dad's fights. When we were living in Osaka, there was a lady there too. I confirmed that because my older brother stumbled upon loveletters to dad stating explicitly their relationship. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty right? But to my face, Dad reiterates that he never takes money from my mom. A common fight they have. So I stick up for my dad when they start. One time, however, he admitted that, "Of course I take money! I have to look out for myself!" And there goes all honesty for you. He would lie to my face and of course admit it later on.

Once I stumbled upon a notebook that had text messages written out. Correspondence dad and this "other woman" had. It was like they were young and inlove teenagers. Oh, and that was here in Rome.

"Let the man without sin, cast the first stone." I can't judge my dad, neither can I reproach him. I too have my faults, and will have to let the Lord alone judge him.

All these thoughts enter my head as I see Jane.
-the world goes back into motion-

Dad shakes the hand of the brother and of Jane. I shake their hands too. My dad asks them if they were going to go to mass. The answer Jane gives is unclear. Dad invites them to join us in mass. I thought he meant to walk with us. We carry on, dad was telling me a story, they walked behind us. When we got into the church, dad picks the pew and I'm sitting at the end. My dad on my left, Jane on his left and her brother on her left. But I think dad was nervous. He didn't know how to relax, which gave him away. He wanted to seem as normal as possible, but he didn't want to give anyone anything to talk about. So, he wanted some distance between him and Jane. At my expense, he was pushing me further and further down the pew until I almost fell off. I brought that to his attention and he just switched positions with me. Everything proceeded as normal. All this time I was thinking, when it comes to "Our Father" can I hold the hand of my dad's mistress? The homily went, nothing striking in the homily. The responsorial psalm was a trip though: Lord, teach me to share.
Yes, my thoughts exactly. If I was putting up a fight before about not wanting to go to mass, this just revalidates it. Ama namin comes and I hold her hand, I even shake it for Peace. The mass ends, Dad hangs back to talk to the guy, not sure if he said anything to Jane. We run into my moms friend, my moms frustration-that's another blog all on its own. Jane and her brother pass and say bye.
That's it.
Nothing funny. No outrageously scandalous behavior.
So it is quite possible that there is nothing going on.
Everyone desrves the benefit of the doubt, but will I really play the naive card?
So what should I believe? What do you believe?

One day, the local pastor was making his parish rounds and visited an elderly man who was not a good churchgoer. He excused himself with the old explanation that there was no need to go to church since he said his prayers at home and did not need a congregation around him.

As they sat around the fireplace and talked about many things, the pastor took one of the brightly burning twigs out of the flames and set it aside on the edge of the fireplace.

Gradually as they talked, the twig's flame became merely a glowing ember and then eventually it went out. At that, the pastor looked the parishioner in the eye and put the ember back into the fire.

He got the message.


I don't usually mind keeping my mom company going to mass. But now that my dad is asking i don't know. I'd rather not go. I don't want to be obliged to go to mass, but its a must. Or something. I don't know. I'm much too disillusioned to go to mass. To go to mass tomorrow with my dad requires effort. I don't know.

Can't stop smiling

You know when you have this secret, that you're just bursting to tell everyone?
But you can't.
However, in the middle of the day, the thought sneaks up on you.
While working, you start to smile.
You're asked to get something from another division.
But you just can't stop smiling.
Everyone you pass by sees you smile and smiles back at you.
Now you're back at your desk, concentrating on the work infront of you.
After a bit, the thought is back in your head and you smile.
That's basically how I've been at work for the past weeks, when thinking of Leo.
Thinking of all the funny moments we've shared. The typo's. The mis-said things (As beautiful as Rome is, its just the same without you), The hugs, the tiny kisses. The trip to the Amalfi Coast - even at midnight, being able to communicate and still be on the same page after a long, stressful day, and drive! Knowing that we both want the same thing from life.
I hope I never wake up.

RP raps Canadian school for penalizing boy using fork, spoon

First posted 04:43pm (Mla time) May 03, 2006
By Veronica UyINQ7.net(UPDATE)
THE PHILIPPINE embassy in Ottawa has decried as an "affrontto the Filipino culture" a Canadian school's punitive action againsta seven-year-old Filipino-Canadian boy who ate "like a pig" by usingspoon and fork, instead of fork and knife, an official said Wednesday.The reprimand on Luc Cagadoc by the canteen monitor of a school inRoxboro, Montreal on April 11 has also spawned debates about what isacceptable table etiquette."The embassy considers the incident an affront to the Filipinoculture," Department of Foreign Affairs spokesman Gilbert Asuque said.Cagadoc was even isolated from the rest of his schoolmates for noteating the way Canadians did, he said.Maria Theresa Gallardo, the boy's mother, took her son's case to theprincipal. But the principal instead sided with the monitor whodescribed Cagadoc as "eating like a pig," Asuque said.This infuriated many Filipinos in Canada. And the case has beencirculating in various e-mail groups among Filipinos, triggeringcultural discourse."What about the Chinese and the Japanese who eat with chopsticks?" isa common reaction to the punishment meted out by the school."Ambassador Jose Brillantes is coordinating with members of theFilipino community who are outraged by the incident," Asuque said.He said the Philippine embassy in Ottawa "will vigorously support anyaction that will validate a conclusion of racial discriminationcommitted against the Filipino student."The Center for Research Action on Race Relations in Montreal filed acomplaint before the school's board, on behalf of the Filipinostudents and parents, and asked for an undetermined amount in moraldamages, Asuque said.The Filipino Association of Montreal is also supporting the family ofGallardo in their action against the school.In Manila, the Canadian embassy refused to comment on the issue.The Gallardo-Cagadoc family migrated to Canada from Misamis province in 1999.

-have you ever read this before? Just goes to show, that there as some places that just don't grow.

certified

yes, i have nothing else better to do
and i have nothing else to say

He is a Man

You have yourself a perfect gentleman and a total keeperYour guy almost always acts appropriatelyHe's probably even very upstanding when you're not aroundThere's no boy left in your boyfriend - he's all man!

Is He A Boy or a Man?

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.You know that love isn't like a greeting card...Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings. You are the best of both worldsGirly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic?

Addie and her surveys

So I did what you did Adds and the funny thing is this:

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heartWhich is why you're attracted to the romance of RomeStrolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in handAnd gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

Funny huh? City must have grown on me.