Odin the all father....

 So....i've kinda given up on Magic. Well, the learning part. Tarot is so hard to understand how to integrate into my daily life and understanding the meaning of it. originally, it was supposed to be draw a tarot card a day and see how that goes, like a daily horoscope but i've just been so caught up... what can i say. i turned lazy to be honest. 

so i wanted to add a bit of umph to my candles that i light up every day and lately i've been using nordic runes. then i discovered binding runes. but still no real connection into it. make a sigil for the day, protection, luck, etc add my basil oil for power and light.

sunday i light a candle for DR3, i wanted him to have good luck and then i lit my incense offering to the spirits that be. and the first time EVER the charcoal reacted and launched itself onto my eyes. my left eye. i was with jordan so i was just calm and not swearing and then... i realized to myself, i've been wondering who has been looking out for me, the angel i keep refering to. what if its odin, who has given up on subtle hints, of sending the crows (? black and grey) and giving me a male presence, what if he had just said, fuck it, this girl is never going to get its me and just gave it to me direct OR how about this, if i have to use runes, i have to ask for Odin's permission first.

we went to the beach, got home, the race started, DR was 13th place. I got a small candle and lit it up. i look over and he's gone over to 8th place. i was thinking of lighting another incense and candle and i didnt. i just didnt. and.... apparently he lost power and then slipped all the way down to 15th. and now i had doubt in myself like i never had before. what if i had .... would Odin have helped? or if it wasn't Odin, would that presence help me?

who knows! better start getting serious about learning the runes though

new age

ever since i was little, i was fascinated with the occult.
but being in the philippines where it was predominantly catholic was a bit hard to explore. people did anyway but i was too scared to embrace. i was afraid of judgement from friends and my religion. i was afraid of what is really out there. i was afraid of acknowledging ghosts because that would be i would acknowledge that they walk amongst us.
i was afraid of knowing angels, because that means there would be devils. and i was afraid of myself, because i know i am weak and gullible - i wouldn't and i am not strong. if a spirit decided to trick me i would fall.
but i've always been curious, about tarot cards and palmistry and pendulums and just witchcraft in general.... and with so much information online, i've been reading up and then getting scared again.
what if i'll go to hell for all of this, for wanting to learn more about this.
two full moons ago, that is when the power of the moon is strongest, i brought all my stuff out for recharging... and i made a plea, that i would like to know more about the spirit guarding me. and right away, i could smell a scent in the air. i was outside on the balcony and well, we're all pretty spaced out in terms of buildings, plus it was late at night and so i knew. my hair on my body all stood on end and i freaked out.
i said wait, i'm not ready, please leave me alone and just like that, i was alone again.
i want to develop this knowledge so i can help myself and others who would like to seek help, but there's so much unknown to me. there's so much information out there as well, its so hard to see the truth. the core. but baby steps. i'll get there eventually. after all, its all about growing up along this journey. about being the first one to reach the destination.