Define, what a fucking day

Answer: mine. It’s past midnight now so it’s technically Tuesday but what a day - starting off with trying to get to work early - had to bring Julie to school. work a little bit. leave at 12 to get back Julie then run off to FAO for the language exam.
the stress of making it on time while the train was running late was a bit much but I barely made it in before the doors closed.
after the exam I went and got a souvlaki. I was debating it as it looked like it was going to rain but I was hungry. so I got the sandwich and then the heavens exploded. it was ok for a minute until meanne told me to go home urgently as Jordan's eyes were suddenly swelling. with the roads flooding due to the sudden heavy downpour and not having an umbrella, I begged the shopowner for anything that would keep me partially dry as I would run down to catch the metro going home.
they offered me a black bag - the garbage bag - it was new though. so, with cut holes for the eyes and mouth I ran down viale aventino soaking my feet trying to make it home for my son.
after we inspected his face and saw nothing that could have caused the swelling (insect bite or plant allergy) we just stayed home. I started making the merenda to bring to school. because of course, it was my week to bring snacks

ugh. 

current mood

I'm undecided if I'm dark and moody or preppy and positive...

so lets be both.



and then...


"Threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back a name 
In your recollection down among a million same
Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed 
And passed over when I've looked right through to see 
You naked and oblivious and you don't see me
But I threw you the obvious just to see 
If there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel eyes of a tragedy
Here I am expecting just a little bit too much 
From the wounded but I see through it all and see you
So I threw you the obvious to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel 
Eyes of a tragedy oh well apparently nothing
You don't see me you don't see me at all"

the disillusioned dreamer

i feel down.
and i figure that down days happen.
so please, just let me be.
without knowing the why. it's hard to always be happy and patient and perky for you .... especially when you yourself are feeling a bit low...but please don't make me feel guilty for being human and having a down day.

i do it all the time, i manage to attract the people who will always take advantage of me. i feel a bit disillusioned and definitely disappointed. nevertheless, its ok, its part of life. i just have to keep my distance for a while otherwise there will be blood on the floor. (and all the walls, and probably the ceiling...)

i want to venet out... and i want to be hugged... but the one person i need right now won't understand... i just need you to let me be...

when you're all alone and sad and the friends you have who make you happy or just accept you for who you are, aren't around...where do you go? who can you turn to?

its also true that it's tiring to put up a front. the wall of the person you think is me. sad, i can't be myself with anyone here...my guard is always up somehow...

*sigh* that's my own fault.

things i've learnt in the past 24 hours

when you have a breast ultrasound scheduled for today, it would be prudent to check you have the prescription before heading to the office.
when you have the above and realize you need to go home to get it, make sure BEFORE leaving the office that it is indeed not with you.
a breast ultrasound is cold and wet and uncomfortable.
these exams need to be done once a year when a lump has been discovered.
change of seasonal clothes should be done once the previous season is actually OVER (and not before)
flour is essential in baking as it holds everything together.
when there is a spanish homework to be done, procrastination goes into over drive.

that's enough for one day. i'm tired and exhausted from doing futile things. argh.
ps: the results came out, and luckily, the lump is benign. i've been told to monitor myself, just in case... but for the moment, everything is fine.

gggrrrr....

*breathe in*
*breathe out*
*breathe iiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn* TANG INA MO MAGNANAKAW KA!*breathe oooouuuuuuuutttttttttt*

Nanakawan kami sa BF.
Fuck.
Hang on, I need to get my head on straight.
So last night, someone broke into our house in BF and beat up poor ate, as she was alone.
I'm glad that she isn't hurt too badly and while I'm sorry that she was there at the time, I'm very grateful that my mom wasn't home.

Damn.
I won't be able to finish this post as I'm still a little confused and reeling from the shock. *sigh* it is a bad world out there.

please, don't get any worse!

the day started bad enough by doing the last 2 kilometers of getting to work in 60 minutes. traffic was awful. then the emails from my supervisor for something we had already discussed a million times. my chief was being playful but i just wasn't in the mood.
then i had this intense craving of mcdonalds - shut up, kari, once in a while i crave burger and fries, ok? I've been good most of September!

so i go home exhausted and do a drive thru at mcdonalds and order my craving, which they fucked up AGAIN!!! you know when there's something you in particular you want to eat? you're not really satisfied until you eat exactly that? well, this is the 3rd time I've had this craving and it's the 3rd time that they messed up my order! wah! dahil drive thru, I didn't even think of checking what i got. di matapos tapos tong craving na to because they never get it right...pero sino naman yung tanga? that was a rhetorical question - don't answer that....

THEN! the one thing i look forward to at the end of the day when i go home is HIMYM and i found out that sky stopped airing it today! :'( WAH!!!! it was suppose to be season 6 today!!!!

oh well, i guess i should stop procrastinating and start packing.... wedding is coming up soon! and my friend is such a great organizer! he's arranged airport pick up, hotel drop off and hotel transport to the church. From the church we have a tram taking us all to the reception. It's going to be amazing and crazy cool.

packing? really? *sigh* lets get this over with...

today is a good day

"ain't nothing's gonna bring me down"
i underwent the two hour commute of going home since i didn't have the car.
there are lots of good things to commuting home:
- i finally got to listen to my ipod.
- i get time to actually think
- there's no traffic
- i don't get stressed driving
- no parking problem

Falling -updated-

I've always been an emotional masochist. Or so I've been told. Now, since I want to do away with the negative vibes, I've now taken to physically hurting myself . I got home. Parked the car. Got the mail. While standing up, I just fell over. Literally and hard. I landed badly on my wrist, it was bleeding and bruised. I was numb. Luckily enough, (and much to my embarrassment) there were two girls waiting in a car across the road who ran out and helped me up. In a trance, I gathered my things and went in. I ran my hand under water but the wound was red and black all over. I called Leo near to tears. Since I didn't have a first aid kit, I told him I'd call him back. I knocked on my neighbours door and asked for help. Sr.Maria Pia has been a nurse for 36 years, and my neighbour for 7! Thank goodness she was there. She felt my wrist, checking to see if I broke it. She cleaned up the wound with alcohol and betadine. Then she put a plaster on. My whole hand was red. I couldn't move my fingers. In pain, I went back home and tried to undress myself and feed myself and I lied in bed, waiting for the pain to subside.

I went to work anyway on Thursday. If anything, to have the office nurse take a look at me. She redressed the wound and suggested, that we bandage it, as to reduce the swelling.
Viola! bandaged right hand.
*sigh* this really hasn't been my week. Tuesday, pain at the dentist, Wednesday, falling. Last night, getting into a car accident while stopped at a traffic light. Today, at least my hand was better. But I couldn't shake off the urge to yell..."ARGH"
The car incident was stupid, because I was so out of it. I came from doing a dental x-ray in San Giovanni and was on my way to the Embassy to pick up a box from Kristine. At the corner of Via Leone IV and Via Giulio Cesare, stopped at the traffic light, a smart car hits me hard from behind. We argue because he doesn't want to admit that any damage was his fault. I didn't want to cause traffic so I told him we'll just move the car and talk about it. He agreed and then when the traffic light changed color, I moved the car and he drove away.
I should have said a lot of things but I just couldn't. I was suffering a really bad headache and the chills. I was so out of it. I just didn't physically have the strength to put up a fight. When I got into the office today, my colleagues were horrified at my week. I told them, I hope Leo catches his flight, otherwise, I'm going to have myself exorcised.
Now off, to the airport, to hopefully pick up Leo.

Io Sono Qui

Spoke to Baby yesterday. It was funny to find out that we were both insecure of each other. I was surprised to know that he saw me in a nice and different way. He actually thought I had a pretty face. While I thought he was a stunner and had all those escapades to prove it. I was always envious of Baby.

Today was a confrontational test of my past. The mixed emotions flowed and oddly enough, it was pity that was felt the most.