waiting for tomorrow

….
I reached out to friends, whoever I could find, near and far, but I was putting more pressure on the friends I had near to meet me....

i'm jealous of my younger brother and his friends, they make time for each other, one in japan, one in manila and my brother, for the moment, brussels. they make the effort and they save and they make the time once a year to see each other and as my brother says, its an effort to maintain a friendship. but if its important. they'll go and work on it.


as for me....
no one showed up when I called and pleaded and asked for company. while I was initially hurt (and still hurt even if just a bit) I realized, what can I expect from people
if I don't spend time with my friends - real quality time with them, how can I expect them to show up for me. text messages don't count as spending time with people.
so I will have to show up.




and for now, i'll have to lick my wounds on my own.

snow patrol

press play


and then hand me the tissues

stray heart (green day)

I lost my way 
Oh baby this stray heart 
Went to another 
Can you recover baby? 
Oh you're the only one that I'm dreamin' of 
Your precious heart 
Was torn apart by me and [-] you 

You're not alone 
Oh oh and now I'm where I belong 
We're not alone 
Oh oh I'll hold your heart and never let go 

Everything that I want 
I want from you 
But I just can't have you 
Everything that I need 
I need from you 
But I just can't have you 

I said a thousand times 
And now a thousand one 
We'll never part 
I'll never stray again from you 
This dog is destined for a home to your heart 

We'll never part 
I'll never stray again from you 
You're not alone 
Oh oh and now I'm where I belong 
We're not alone 
Oh oh I'll hold your heart and never let go 

Everything that I want 
I want from you 
But I just can't have you 
Everything that I need 
I need from you 
But I just can't have you 

You're not alone 
Oh oh and now I'm where I belong 
We're not alone 
Oh oh I'll hold your heart and never let go 

Everything that I want 
I want from you 
But I just can't have you 
Everything that I need 
I need from you 
But I just can't have you 

Everything that I want 
I want from you 
But I just can't have you 
Everything that I need 
I need from you 
But I just... 
Just can't have you

babysitters circus

despite every bit of craziness that's going on, we have to keep believing everything its going to be ok.

happy na lang...magic

...i can't believe, i have fallen...for you

Payphone (Maroon 5)

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember

The people we used to be

It's even harder to picture

That you're not here next to me

You say it's too late to make it

But is it too late to try?

And in our time that you wasted

All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights

You turned out the lights

Now I'm paralyzed

Still stuck in that time when we called it love

But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist

I would still be holding you like this

All those fairytales are full of sh*t

One more stupid love song I'll be sick

You turned your back on tomorrow

Cause you forgot yesterday

I gave you my love to borrow

But just gave it away

You can't expect me to be fine

I don't expect you to care

I know I've said it before

But all of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my nights

You turned out the lights

Now I'm paralyzed

Still stuck in that time when we called it love

But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist

I would still be holding you like this

All those fairytales are full of sh*t

One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

[Wiz Khalifa]

Man work that sh*t

I'll be out spending all this money while you sitting round

Wondering why it wasn't you who came up from nothing

Made it from the bottom

Now when you see me I'm stunning

And all of my cars start with the push up a button

Telling me the chances I blew up or whatever you call it

Switched the number to my phone

So you never could call it

Don't need my name on my show

You can tell it I'm ballin'

Swish, what a shame could have got picked

Had a really good game but you missed your last shot

So you talk about who you see at the top

Or what you could've saw

But sad to say it's over for

Phantom pulled up valet open doors

Wiz like go away, got what you was looking for

Now ask me who they want

So you can go and take that little piece of sh*t with you

I'm at a payphone trying to call home

All of my change I spent on you

Where have the times gone

Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist

I would still be holding you like this

All those fairytales are full of sh*t

One more stupid love song I'll be sick

Now I'm at a payphone...

Happy Tuesday!

Food for thoughts and more....

Actually, this song just puts me in a good mood. Band is so cool.

Blog articles I've read that made me pause:

Why we need to pause and reflect once in a while:

Excerpt:

Consider the story of the boiling frog. It may or may not be true, but the point it makes certainly is. Toss a frog into a pot of boiling water and it instinctively jumps out, self-protectively. Next, place the frog into a pot of cool water. Not surprisingly, it swims around, happily. Now heat the water up very gradually and what does the frog do? It acclimates to untenable circumstances — and slowly cooks. The frog doesn't notice what's happening to him, until it's too late. 

Why sometimes happiness isn't what we always think it is:

Excerpt:

Happiness comes from the intersection of what you love, what you're good at, and what the world needs. We've been told time and again to keep finding the first. Our schools helped developed the second. It's time we put more thought on the third. 

gee, thanks Bro

you sure know how to depress a girl. and it doesn't help my current mood:



The Day I Lost My Voice (The Suitcase Song) Lyrics

It's sure as the floor 'neath my toes
And somehow not surprised
That I was superimposed, somehow in this life
And if my friends and my foes would just drop me a line, it'd be nice.

You see love is a drink that goes straight to my head
And time is a lover and I'm caught in her stare
And the sentiment there follows me straight to my bed through the night

I've got my life in a suitcase,
I'm ready to run, run, run away..
I've got no time, 'cause I'm always trying to run, run, run away
'Cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase...

What could be an anchor here, with a storm on the rise,
When you never meant to see so clear, when smoke gets in your eyes
And the men in the moon never makes his replies
Understood

I've got my life in a suitcase,
I'm ready to run, run, run away..
I've got no time, 'cause I'm always trying to run, run, run away
'Cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase...

For a moment I was one man and the world made sense
For a moment in this storm made of consequence

I've got my life in a suitcase,
I'm ready to run, run, run away..
I've got no time, 'cause I'm always trying to run, run, run away
'Cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase...

we are young

yesterday, when i woke up, i was already cold. that was not a good sign.
i ended up being cold all day, with frozen hands and a slightly warm forehead.

today, i woke up slightly better. i've been sleeping past one am the past nights and when 6.30 rolls around, i can barely get out of bed. today was different. if only because at 7.30, Cat, the new girl who was going to clean the house was coming over.

when i left the house to go to work (on time today!), i was overwhelmed with sadness.
this song doesn't help either.


i guess its just one of those days. maybe i'm getting my period or i don't know. i'm really, really sad.
especially at this moment. i was crying last night. today, while in the car and about 10am in the office. luckily, i don't face anyone, just my monitor. i want to crawl into a cave and just weep and get it out of my system.

damn negative feelings.

"fail with consequence, lose with eloquence"

Arass posted this link on her FB profile today. I instantly fell for the song....there's just something so hauntingly alluring to it.

***
It's almost 11 and I still haven't packed. I'm suck a procrastinator. I haven't decided which dress to bring, so I'll bring two. One as a back up. Just in case, you never know. With my luck, anything can happen. I hope I don't crease it. Damn. Just thought of that now.

***
oh and Kari... sorry and thank you. you've be patient and if only you were here, you would have killed me by now. this is going slow because i want to. *sigh*
i'll try and keep the whining to a minimum.

***updated 14.10.11
Breathe in*breathe out*
its over. i'm finally free.

NU Feel....

It's 6.10am and DJ Rei Aya is keeping you company on this lovely Friday morning.
For all of you getting ready or already on the road, keep it here to the Home of NU Rock, N.U.107, as we're going to play today the latest from HIFIPONG.
091118 PROG ROCK Live Impro by HIFIPONG

Wala lang. Just remembering my internship at NU. From running around and getting their coffee to being their special secret guest to reading the news. That was crazy! I had to be at the station at 5am, from Monday's to Friday's, as I was helping with the morning show (Zach and Joey in the morning!) It was so sad when the radio station had to close. I got emails and messages about it. *sigh* that was a good past life :)

- i guess coherent thoughts are not possible with only 5 hours of sleep in the past week. will describe nu better on a different day.