I just want to remember the date. It was late at night and Leo and I were talking on the webcam and phone. I forgot how it started, but I shared Sade's By your side.
I sent him the file and he played it, turning it up, so I could hear it too.
Then we started missing each other A LOT. We were openly suffering the distance that night...
I just realized how much I do love Leo and I don't think I've ever felt this way about someone....
I would do anything to have him happy, even let him go....
But for now, that he wants with him, I still sing Sade...
oh when you're cold i'll be there hold you tight to me
when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in
i will show you you're so much better than you know
when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
i will find you darling and i will bring you home and
if you want to cry i am here to dry your eyes and
in no time you'll be fine
you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that....
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
The resentment within
Things have finally gone ok! Hurrah! But thats for the next blog. Right now I'm just a little cheesed off.
My mom does the usual sermon, "so I can take money from you now...?" and although I would never really say no to my mom, the irritated me for a split second just wants to say, "Why don't you go ask for money from the lawyer you invested in?" Mean. Definitely. Why say it? Well, I didn't really but....its just so annoying...*sigh* I'm not making sense anymore. Even for myself.
My mom does the usual sermon, "so I can take money from you now...?" and although I would never really say no to my mom, the irritated me for a split second just wants to say, "Why don't you go ask for money from the lawyer you invested in?" Mean. Definitely. Why say it? Well, I didn't really but....its just so annoying...*sigh* I'm not making sense anymore. Even for myself.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Second Chance
One of the things I love so much with Leo is that we both have the same passion to look back. Some people get bored that the conversation is reflection, but I love thinking back to "this time last year, or two years ago, or whatever year" I love that and Leo loves it too!
Last night we were talking about June 2002 up until August 2004. Actually, I was doing most of the talking because I was recapping. I looked back and realized that for that period I was spinning out of control. I was honestly very ashamed of myself. There were things that I couldn't even remember. I pushed it out of my memory. I was not proud of myself and that period I hit rock bottom. It took a lot to get me where I am now, and even that is a continual process of learning, experimenting and faith.
I'm very grateful for getting a second chance to fix things. To make myself better. I'm grateful for every opportunity that comes my way. After a month of submitting my visa application form to the UK embassy, I FINALLY got my visa issued today. They really wouldn't let up with my requirements. They issued a four month visa so I have to make sure I use it up! I planned to do it this week or at least next week, however I got an sms from my boss saying "stay tuned, we're almost there...more to come in the following week" Had the UK issued my visa earlier, then I would have been there now! I would have gone back with Leo! But in anycase, I'm not complaining. I have my visa and fingers crossed, I hopefully will have a stable job. I have a man whom I love so completely, and who feels the same way about me. I have a loving and supportive family who are all in good health.
This holy week, my dad and I didn't observe it as tradition would dictate. Nevertheless, this Easter when Christ will be ressurected on Sunday, I can't help but feel I've been given another shot to doing things right. I will be reborn. I am reborn.
Last night we were talking about June 2002 up until August 2004. Actually, I was doing most of the talking because I was recapping. I looked back and realized that for that period I was spinning out of control. I was honestly very ashamed of myself. There were things that I couldn't even remember. I pushed it out of my memory. I was not proud of myself and that period I hit rock bottom. It took a lot to get me where I am now, and even that is a continual process of learning, experimenting and faith.
I'm very grateful for getting a second chance to fix things. To make myself better. I'm grateful for every opportunity that comes my way. After a month of submitting my visa application form to the UK embassy, I FINALLY got my visa issued today. They really wouldn't let up with my requirements. They issued a four month visa so I have to make sure I use it up! I planned to do it this week or at least next week, however I got an sms from my boss saying "stay tuned, we're almost there...more to come in the following week" Had the UK issued my visa earlier, then I would have been there now! I would have gone back with Leo! But in anycase, I'm not complaining. I have my visa and fingers crossed, I hopefully will have a stable job. I have a man whom I love so completely, and who feels the same way about me. I have a loving and supportive family who are all in good health.
This holy week, my dad and I didn't observe it as tradition would dictate. Nevertheless, this Easter when Christ will be ressurected on Sunday, I can't help but feel I've been given another shot to doing things right. I will be reborn. I am reborn.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Extreme Make Over -Home Edition
There are a lot of reality shows out there-all of them weird. Some of them (if not most), pointless. Others, just leave you feeling ...huh? (Take Temptation Island for example). This is the trend of Reality TV. Who watches stuff like that? I mean, even the original of this reality TV - Extreme Make over?! Who wants to watch a person under go surgery? Liposuction, breast implants, lip reduction, the whole yuck yards...I mean, REALLY? I tried watching it once and got a creepy feeling watching the surgery...it sends out the wrong message about being happy about yourself. As my mom is fond of saying, its no longer thank you God, but thank you doc!
There is however, one Reality TV show that I'm grateful is around. The Home Edition.
The idea behind the show is that there are deserving families in and around America whose house is in need of major renovation-its just that they are so nice, they can't afford what is needed to fix up the house. This is where the TV show comes in. There are families that are nominated to have their house made over, the show has to evaluate if they can really help. When its set, the producers send the family on a 7 day vacation, and they demolish and construct a new house. From a simple bungalow, to a three or four story house, the TV show makes it. Not only that, from conceptualizing to contructing the house, you can be sure that they furnish it too! They buy everything brand new! I've been watching it for over a month and I always get teary eyed when it comes to the family expressing their gratitude to the network. Its just so amazing how the TV Show aims at touching these peoples lives and making them happy. Just giving them the comfort they've always been dreaming of, as well as they deserve.
In all the time I've been watching this show, it has never ceased to amaze me how many extraordinary people are out there. However, this particular episode I found was worth of mention.
It was about this woman Veronica, an abused wife. She reached the point where she said, ENOUGH-and took with her 8 kids, and never looked back. She is working now with helping other women to have the courage to leave and change their situation. She is working to raise awareness for this. The Home Edition found them-and made a really great episode. The night of Day 6, the show wanted to take time out from all the construction and remember what they were doing. Apart from making this house, they had contacted the House of Ruth, an organization that helps women in these situations, and they had them speak a little. To remind everyone about the rights of women and that this abuse is not ok. They (all the people assembled there) held a vigil to commemorate women who are trying to survive on their own or staying with the family. To make an impact, they called on Ms. Patty Labelle. She sang a cover of the Pretenders, I'll stand by you.
OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD? TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH 'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOTHING YOU CONFESS COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL STAND BY YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE? I GET ANGRY TOO WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE LET ME COME ALONG 'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG
I'LL STAND BY YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
AND WHEN... WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN I'LL STAND BY YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU STAND BY YOU
It was amazing. I remembered the people close to my heart who have endured abuse. I remember myself. Abuse in any shape or form is NOT ok. If you ever need me, I'm here. I lighted a candle for you too, and in the silence of the night, when you're sleeping, I sing this same song for you.
There is however, one Reality TV show that I'm grateful is around. The Home Edition.
The idea behind the show is that there are deserving families in and around America whose house is in need of major renovation-its just that they are so nice, they can't afford what is needed to fix up the house. This is where the TV show comes in. There are families that are nominated to have their house made over, the show has to evaluate if they can really help. When its set, the producers send the family on a 7 day vacation, and they demolish and construct a new house. From a simple bungalow, to a three or four story house, the TV show makes it. Not only that, from conceptualizing to contructing the house, you can be sure that they furnish it too! They buy everything brand new! I've been watching it for over a month and I always get teary eyed when it comes to the family expressing their gratitude to the network. Its just so amazing how the TV Show aims at touching these peoples lives and making them happy. Just giving them the comfort they've always been dreaming of, as well as they deserve.
In all the time I've been watching this show, it has never ceased to amaze me how many extraordinary people are out there. However, this particular episode I found was worth of mention.
It was about this woman Veronica, an abused wife. She reached the point where she said, ENOUGH-and took with her 8 kids, and never looked back. She is working now with helping other women to have the courage to leave and change their situation. She is working to raise awareness for this. The Home Edition found them-and made a really great episode. The night of Day 6, the show wanted to take time out from all the construction and remember what they were doing. Apart from making this house, they had contacted the House of Ruth, an organization that helps women in these situations, and they had them speak a little. To remind everyone about the rights of women and that this abuse is not ok. They (all the people assembled there) held a vigil to commemorate women who are trying to survive on their own or staying with the family. To make an impact, they called on Ms. Patty Labelle. She sang a cover of the Pretenders, I'll stand by you.
OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD? TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH 'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOTHING YOU CONFESS COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL STAND BY YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE? I GET ANGRY TOO WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE LET ME COME ALONG 'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG
I'LL STAND BY YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
AND WHEN... WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN I'LL STAND BY YOU I'LL STAND BY YOU STAND BY YOU
It was amazing. I remembered the people close to my heart who have endured abuse. I remember myself. Abuse in any shape or form is NOT ok. If you ever need me, I'm here. I lighted a candle for you too, and in the silence of the night, when you're sleeping, I sing this same song for you.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
post honeymoon
Addie! Don't worry, when Leo and I will be in the Philippines in October, I plan to share with him, at least one island! So, Boracay and Palawan will surely be considered, any other suggestions? Trust me, I wish you were here with us too!
I wanted to share one last picture, the Amalfi Coast and us. What 'ya think?
I've actually cut my hair since it was getting a bit hard to manage.
I'm not too happy about it. Oh well, its just hair.
I watched Love Actually last night. If you haven't seen it-watch it! Its a feel good movie highlighting love, like never before. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Not much is going on now since I'm just home. I'm driving my dad later-he needs a driver. *sigh*
But looking at this picture reminds me that there are always better days ahead. Nothing could beat and compete with the feeling of happiness, security and contentment that I feel with Leo.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Weekend 2
FOOD!
I was on the subject of the glorious food. I had lobsters and Leo had clams, obviously being at a coastal town, the specialty would be seafood.
La Cambusa is the restaurant we went to for lunch. It was nice. Food was a little price-y, but not too much.
Don't we look like kids-best friends on an adventure? Because thats how I honestly feel when around him. The comfort of my other half. I love him and he loves me, but the friendship is so strong, its amazing.
We were asked by the waiter if we were on our honeymoon!
oops, gotta go now, part 3 in a bit
Sunday, April 02, 2006
The weekend
Can I just say, I've had the most amazing weekend!
This is the view from our room.
Basically, Leo and I went to Positano for the weekend. It was originally supposed to be Amalfi, however when we got there, it wasn't as great. The hotel we had booked wasn't "all that". So we jumped into the car and drove to Positano. There we just went to this hotel, Covo dei Saraceni (Cave of the Saracens) - it might be good to add that we were driving at midnight to get there and that we didn't have a clue to where it was. But when we got there, it was great. The room was excellent, the bed comfortable. It was perfect. Exhausted but content, Leo and I stayed there. We woke up the next morning (Saturday) to a beautiful view. This one on the side.
We had breakfast, took our shower and walked around. The sun was shining, with a hint of summer in the air, we walke around the town.
Positano is quite small, however, we were a bit hungry, so it didn't take us long to find a restaurant and eat up!
ARgh, damn internet isn't working, won't upload the pictures...*sigh* this will have to wait a bit longer....
the weekend part two coming up
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