Santo Stefano di Sessanio

Who says you can't have fun even if you're broke? I'll admit April has been a bit of a bad month financially, nevertheless there are other things you can do while on budget.
Kristine had wanted to take her new car to stretch its tires. We decided to go a bit out of Rome, but not too far. So we went to Santo Stefano di Sessanio, which is an old town. We didn't do our homework too well and just went with the recommendation of Kristine's colleagues that its a nice town to visit.
On the whole, it wasn't a bad town. With Kristine anyway, everything is a blast!
We had agreed to leave at 9, *ahem* we left an hour later (due to tardiness of someone who shall remain unnamed, pit stops to banks and back home again for another reason). Kristine had the socket for her Ipod and our driving tunes were 80's songs! We belted out tunes to songs I had even forgotten! (..but of course its not polite, to ask you where you spent last night...and if i did you might reply that i had no right...but anyway i'm fine, glad you're no longer mine... if i should tell a lie *everybody now* I'LL CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE). Plus I made up songs of my own: Lonely day and My Cherie Armor (as opposed to Lovely day and My Cherie Amour). We ate lunch at the only seeming restaurant in the town. The food was ok-ish. I was kinda hoping for something more. Apparently, the main attraction Santo Stefano had was the tower which we walked around aimlessly looking for. Turns out (we found out way later after we had gone up the tower) that it was only 5 minutes away from where we had parked the car! But it was all good, at least we had gone through the little town. I don't think I'd want my neighbors to be that close to me! They could tell what I was watching on TV even on normal volume.
We found a really cool tea room, I did wonder though who would go there to have tea since the town was so small and Italians by default like coffee!
On our way home we stopped by the snow along the road and even had a small snowball fight. I'll have to upload the video later. I was calf-deep in snow! Good thing I was wearing boots!
Kristine's Ipod was low on battery, and she only had 175 songs on it. I was wondering which would run out first, the battery or the songs. Turns out we ran out of songs (we didn't listen to some songs, there were quite a few that we skipped). We encountered a bit of traffic coming back to Rome. It wasn't that bad. I got home by 7.30 and grilled my fish for dinner and cleaned the bathroom.
All in all, it was a great day, where we laughed and sang a lot. There were moments of silliness, but Kristine is cool that way. We were just silly together (and laughed even harder). That makes all the difference when going on road trips! Thanks for bringing me along Kristine. Til our next trip out (some time in May?)!

Not a charity case

If i should ever look back and wonder how I managed to survive this past month, I should remember to thank my friends. Who, without knowing, always covered my meals.
I'm not a charity case. I don't need your sympathy, or pity.
But your thoughtfulness.
When you've made more food than you can eat at home and bring it to the office to share, I appreciate.
Thanks so much.
I survived April with your help.
I know Kuya Jess is always watching out for me, and nudging those He knows would help me.

An ode to you

I was thinking of making this for a while.
Photos are from my first two trips back home.
I miss you guys so much.
Sorry if the photos are all the same, don't have any new ones.
Don't worry, I have a feeling will be seeing each other again soon...and I'll take some more photos.

Thank you Kari

Had an interesting lunch conversation with my boss.
The impact lasted til the end of the day, and just when I thought it wouldn't happen, in the silence of my house, I knelt down and cried.

-----

so, thanks Kari!
Your blog and your life is a welcome distraction from me.
I have fun watching your life

*hug*

keep on postin'

Body Mass Index

I weighed myself today.
We have this nifty machine in the office that automatically calculates your Body Mass Index according to your height and weight.
Then it also explains the ranges:
Below 20: Underweight
20-25: Ideal Weight
25-30: Overweight
30: OVERWEIGHT!!

I swear, that's how they have it written out.

Now, I am apparently within my ideal weight. Now if only I could get into my ideal shape....

I had bought some carrots to add into whatever it was i was cooking last week.
I still had some left over. Slowly but surely, since I have nothing to cook, I started eating it raw.
I hate carrots. I could never imagine myself eating it raw.
But here it is, when push comes to shove, with no appetite and no food in the house you eat what's there.
Which bears truth to an article I read. If you stock the house with only fresh fruits and vegetables kids will eat what's there when they are hungry. So, if you guys want your unborn kiddies to eat right, stock up with the right stuff and it should be easily sailing.
*ugh*
I hate carrots. Can you tell how lazy I am yet? I wonder what I'll have for dinner tomorrow night. Banana and apple maybe.

when a song becomes reality

I randomly heard this song on the radio today and it hit home.
Naturally, I heard the Cake version of it.
It instantly brought back memories of Psycho Ex.
I sang this song with fierce pride:
press play


I Will Survive Lyrics

Getting things done...

The document has finally come in, the volvo is no longer in my dad's name.
That saga gets a blog all on its own, at a later period.
I got to call Citibank today and cancelled the card.
I called up the Gas company and told them that they are over charging me.
They are issuing a new bill which I should receive in 10 days. I'm suppose to pay that amount instead and remember that the next time the bill arrives, I have to call them and tell them that the estimate is correct.
Happy*happy*joy*joy*

Now, I just have to cancel the insurance policy on the car and remember to go to pick up my circulation card on Monday, then I shall be FREE! Free from all this.

On an unrelated mater:
For the first time since I've had my car, the low gas indicator lit up-I used to full tank the car and frequently. It would hardly reach 1/4, but times are tough *shrug*

oh, grow up!

i don't get it.
i really don't.
i don't understand how he can be such a brat about all this.
at least he knows what he wants and is conscious of his actions to pursuing it. - i never got that chance, EVER.
since i graduated, i jumped all the hoops, THEY dictated, and when the going went tough-well, i got going - to another country.
so he doesn't get to complain to me about he just has to get away from them.
at least he's in manila where friends are just a phone call away.
where he doesn't feel abandoned and alone and frustrated all the time.

imagine this:
full grown and all alone with your parents for the first time in your lives.
not having help.
stranded in a foreign country where they can't even give you allowance
or even help the first time round to pay for lessons.
i never learnt italian well - i still have this innate resistance to being here.
for better or worse i've come to terms that i'm here, so now - 5 years later, i'm actually actively trying to integrate myself into rome.

he asked me for money for his insurance in august - i said yes, well he asked first.
then he started telling me about the extravagant life is living.
i'm not kidding when i'm going on and on about being broke.
if i don't have enough cash, i literally cannot eat.
who's going to bail me out when i have nothing.
who is going to pay my bills, the rent, buy the groceries if i can't afford it?
noone.
and i have to save up to pay for my life insurance, ok with my brother, i understand, he's not earning enough etc, etc
i told him i could only send half. he said he was ok with that.
then we had a conversation not so long ago, all four of us and she said that i don't have to send money to my brother - let him pay it.
then he started going into hysterics. he was like, fine, i'll pay for it, but you (talking to her) will have to pay for my dinners out, my gas, my shopping, etc.

i wanted to slap him silly - that's not the point.
i wanted to shake him back to his senses. he didn't give me a chance to tell him, but i would have said,
not once (well, since i started working and i can count on one hand those times i absolutely had to ask) have i asked them to pay for anything that i did.
i paid my car insurance, my gas, dinners out, lessons, gym, anything i did - shopping for clothes. whenever i spent, i spent my own money. hell, when my mom would go out and see a shirt and thought i might like it, she'd buy it, make sure i liked it then charged me for it. i mean, REALLY.

it just sets my teeth on edge when he says, he absolutely has to get away from them. go ahead, leave if you want to. but stop asking from them. the condition they provided was, just graduate college, that's the only thing we can give to you and after that the rest is up to you. i know you're not asking from them, but still you're expecting from them. that's not the way it goes. he complains that they are unbearable. unbearable?! try living with them without any domestic help in a foreign country WITHOUT a job. for YEARS! i admit it was hard and i am sympathetic towards him, but he doesn't get all of it because he won't deal with it. he has his friends if he needs them. he's in his comfort zone. he envied me here. i'm broke, how am i suppose to enjoy a city that cost too damn much? he'd rather escape and go far away from them rather than get to know them. which in a turn makes me sad. my parents can be funny and we've had a lot of stupid moments and we laugh. we weren't always that way and because i had nowhere else to go i had to deal with them. we fought like hell, but when we got over our differences (trust me the struggle is still constant) we were ok. i still call them - not that often because its expensive. i know my parents can be difficult. i know that, but please try. they are after all our parents.

he is trying hard to reach his goal. he won't settle for anything related to it. its either attaining it or not at all. which is admirable in some cases, but i'm afraid that some things won't be as he expected them to be, and then what would he do? he has his dream high up on a pedestal he doesn't understand the reality of it. he might be in for a big disappointment. but he's going after it. so thats good. he doesn't have the pressure and need to work, therefore, its all ok. he's uncompromising - he won't work in a call center. i just hope his wait is worth it. he won't know until april next year. that's quite a bit of sacrifice, but he's working in the meanwhile. i know he has put a lot at stake on this dream, he can't move forward otherwise. my parting message to him after talking to him this morning was, welcome to the real world.

engagement on the horizon...

....yes but not quite mine!

A good friend of mine - and long time friend is soon to get married. Of course I can't mention his name just yet as someone may stumble upon this blog and tell the girl (sorry for being paranoid but stranger things have happened!).

I can still remember when I met this guy, I am 1 1/2 older than him, which made him very shy but he was always awesome.
I met him one random summer while I was doing a writing workshop.
We were less than 10 students in the class. He was the best one there being creative and talented.

He only told me he liked me the last day of class. Thinking back, it was so funny and awkward. But it was an innocent kind of attraction that's just cute.
I'm pretty sure we didn't have the concept of "lust" and it was just a kiddie crush.
I hardly noticed him. I was not into younger guys back then - I've always had crushes on older guys!
Besides, I think I was 15 turning 16 and he had just turned 14!
Kiddos talaga!
He gave me a card for no apparent reason and a letter on the last day of class (or was it the other way round?).
I still have it locked away somewhere among the mess in my drawer at home.
I use to cringe from embarrassement whenever I read it (and I read it several times to help me get over the embarrassment, but that didn't help) - what I wouldn't give to read it now, just for the fun of it. I'd probably still cringe, but laugh at the same time.

He told me he liked me and just like all typical men, vanished without a trace.
He resurfaced a year later to tell me he had stayed in Manila and had a girlfriend and whatever and if we could be friends.
Since I really didn't care, I was happy that we were friends.
And we stayed friends for the longest time. More than 10 years I think.

We use to call each other up with regularity and update one another with our current events. I had met his 2nd girlfriend, and was there when they broke up.
I don't think I've ever met his current girlfriend (and soon to be wife!), but he had told me all about her, since the first time they've met, his crush and his courting period.

I think it was somewhere in between number 2 and 3 that we were talking about back-ups. Now, you have to understand, "My best friends wedding" was still the rage back then (even though it was 2 or 3 years after the movie had been released) and I guess somethings just stick. If memory serves me right, we had made a pack: if and when I turn 28, and we were both single and unmarried, we would just marry each other.

That wasn't the most romantic way of starting a happily ever after, but I had learned in the Philippines, they won't let you get away with being single for too long.
I had learned early on that marriage just had to be done. He was a good enough friend, why not? Well, because it wasn't love and it wasn't the happy ending we both had wanted.

I've been updated on their progress and was happy to hear at the end of last year and the start of this year, he was already thinking of proposing! We were brainstorming different ideas-however, he hasn't finalised his plan yet. He's going to do it this year. The proposal and he will get married, next year.
I'm so excited! Here's comes a reason for me to go home!

ps: kari, I can't go home this year, its too damn expensive. Sorry sweetie, I can try and meet you half way.

i heart my friends

i may not have many, but the few i have are gold.
i don't know how i would stay sane without them.
this blog is asn open letter to them-because we all understand that its difficult to keep constantly in touch through emails
and expensive to do it by phone.

think of it as a never ending conversation.

which is very much possible as i love talking to my friends.

thank you so much for not letting distance and time get in the way of being constantly awesome friends.

whichever side of the world we're at, i'm sure we'll see each other again....and very soon!

i'm at work right now, but when i get home i'll update this blog to put in the pictures of my prized possessions, my friends

Being social

I met up with Rashad and Mayra last night. Rashad hurt his foot so he's resting at home. He may need surgery. He'll find out more tomorrow. I was just chilling with Rashad making sure he was ok and lent him Evolution. Mayra stopped by Rashad's house, she just flew in from her week long conference in Addis Ababa. Drank quite a bit, 2 bottles between 3 people.
Now I just got home from watching Juno with Kristine. Cute movie. Liked it.
Definitely a different take on teenage pregnancy.
As I check Kari's site, I find a post just for me.
:)
I'm so lucky to have great friends.
Hell, Kari, stay in place just a bit longer....I'm on my way....

One of those days

I'm experiencing something that I can only describe as "ugh".
A headache, lack of motivation to work, heavy head, cold hands.
I have no idea what to do. Nor do I know the cause of it.

In the extreme term, I've lost the will to live.

At least today.

Maybe now I'm ready for change. But from what?
My job? That's a possibility. I could be challenged in different ways and right now, I'm just comfortable.

My relationship?
When does familiarity border onto boring. Maybe I should live in with Leo and start getting ready for our life together. That's going to take time. Much more time that I've been thinking of. 1 1/2 year. That's how much longer its going to take.

I need change.

NOW.

Maybe I'm just bored? Well, at least there's Juno with Kristine tonight.

behind the times

i didn't know this existed