Sunday, May 25, 2008

friendly to non friends?!

yesterday was the first time my friends mayra and rashad came over.
I've known these people since I started working in WFP.
I've been to their houses countless times, yet there never seemed like a good moment to come over to mine.
Their schedules were always booked and Mayra would hardly be in Rome for 3 weekends straight (proof of this is that she's flying to France on Wednesday and back on Monday, and she's only been back in Rome 2 weeks from her trip to the states).
I prepared pancit and lumpiang shanghai (kinda).
One bottle of wine was consumed by all three of us within the span of 2 hours. It actually hit me hard. After they left, I had an awful headache and couldn't do the dishes. In fact, I have to deal with the dishes after this post.
I brought out the magic sing that I had bought in January and Rashad just loved it.
He totally went for it.
He asked me to bring it for his dinner later that night.
4 Hours later, a very druken, slurish me arrived at Rashad's house across the city. I was just in time for dinner and (more) drinks which I avoided. The Karoke was brought out again. Dinner guests were: Mayra, Rashad (hosted), Sarah (Rashad's girlfriend), Liviana, Fabrizio and me.
Everyone gave it a go and we all won our 100's. Close to 1am, I made it out of there and headed home.

Having a discussion with Leo earlier on today, I told him I felt guilty about not calling Michelle about WFP. WFP now is looking for temp people. Something I "helped" another person do (she totally pissed me off when she couldn't create her own online cv. I ended up doing it for her, but then felt really annoyed. she should be able to do things on her own. if she can't, then i can't help her that much, can i?). But Mich had become a phantom. I tried to be nice, I tried to keep in touch, but she just ignores me. She does call when she needs something (like knowing when a job is available). I offered dinner at the house, however, she just never seemed interested.

Trying to reconnect, I opened the book today. And there it was, the "answer" to my question, whether i should be a good person to someone who obviously just doesn't care. Although, it also mentioned letting go of anger and guilt. I couldn't quite do that. Even though its been 5 years, it may take a little bit longer to heal. Especially since I thought I got rid of all traces of my mistakes, I found out, there was one place, I actually forgot to clean out.
Its 2pm. Time to start the day

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

sometimes, we have to go through guilt and anger to realized our mistakes. But be aware of living too long with our mistakes.. let's just allow it to pass us by =)