Sometimes I wonder what the right thing to do is anymore. and if, at turning 30, I still don't know what it is, well, that's pretty sad.
Like now, I wonder if its more correct to stay or go. He wants to be alone, that much is obvious. So how much should i stay? The fight with wifey put him a mood I had never seen before. Admittedly, as I've told wifey before there are ways of saying things. She just chooses the ones that presses all his buttons.
I haven't been caught in a yelling match in a long time.... not even my worst fight with Leo. Makes me feel bad on the whole. Reminded me of my parents.
I'm sorry it had happened but I think I know them well enough to know that they won't stay away from each other for long. They can't. They need each other.
I guess it's up to me to decide how much in the middle I want to stay in it. They both break my heart and in front of them, I try to keep it together. We all can't go crazy, some of us need to be sane, if only temporarily.
Self inflicted pain. I wonder how much more of it I can take. Also, I think I'm dehydrated - crying to and from work has been such a normal phenomenon these past months, I find myself drinking litres of water at the office!
I heard this song on the radio this morning. Took a break from the podcast Pyro's been telling me to listen to. Thought it was appropriate.
"I'm not made of brick
I'm not made of stone
There's blood in these veins
And I cry when in pain
And though looks may decieve
Make it hard to believe
I'm only human on the inside"
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