When people ask me, "how are you?" I give the standard reply, "I'm great, thanks. How's it going?" and we continue the polite conversation....
and you know what? Honestly, I'm tired.
I'm tired of replying that I'm ok when I'm not. I'm tired of pretending things are well, and that everything is fine. I'm tired of smiling for my family, for the office and for the people who want to take advantage of me. I'm tired of having to explain and justify myself to my friends.
How am I?
I'm tired and fucked up and I want to be somewhere safe. I actually want to crawl into a cave somewhere and close my eyes and not think.
And if ever anyone asks me, how are you? I want to say, "I'm feeling very shitty. Thanks for asking" and leave it at that. Without having to say why.
Simply because I am, ok?
Sorry, sleep deprived. I only got 2 hours of sleep. ... and now I guess, I start my day.
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