random thoughts

i will be fired one day.
i have a stupid, BIG, mouth.
who on earth would make a joke their BIGGEST boss and say, i'm doing better than you probably after he had a tough time during a meeting with the top honcos of the organization
*****
yesterday, my boss called me in to scold me for something, which in my opinion i shouldn't be held liable for. i held my tongue and took the beating (so to speak) but was in a very bad mood yesterday. i felt like turning round and asking him, WHY?! of course, i couldn't. its almost like asking God that question. You won't get an answer and you'll feel silly afterwards.
*****
my good friend at times surprises me and makes me think that we're not as close as i think. after several years of knowing her she finally gets round to telling me she doesn't like the name that i've been addressing her (as it was her old nickname) - makes me feel rather foolish. there are some things that she does that annoy me, but leo always calms me down, so i've forgotten them, but i never forgot the feeling i had, doubting the depth of the friendship. so here i am trying to organize something grand for her, however, with that last comment, i feel weird. i can't explain why exactly but i do. i'll still organize it, its just a strange feeling.
ignore me, i'm just tired.
*****
i went to ikea yesterday and bought some stuff to help me get better organized in the house. i hope that works, but more than that i need time to be at home to clean and do the laundry, i can't keep arriving at 10pm and start cleaning the house. nor can i afford always not doing it on weekends (but leo comes twice a month!) i need a break for this crazy schedule. i would gladly welcome two days of just being home to clean, do the laundry and reorganize myself, i mean, the house.