breathe....

its just ....

i can't breathe....

i know i've vented this out before...but it really is getting to me now.
i can't sleep properly. i can't get out of bed. all week this week. i couldn't get out of bed.
something is missing but i can't explain what.

its so much easier to be distracted. to lose myself. and i want to block all my responsibilites out.
yes, i know its life - you take the good with the bad and you grow from it.
and the bad isn't all that bad but i feel like i can't do it.

sink or swim, romel once told me.....
i'm fighting to swim, but its just not going there

whats worse than being all alone and feeling so isolated?
being surrounded by your supposed friends and still feeling so alone.
i just want to think of something stupid
i just want to think of escape....
i want to just curl up at home and cry,
a good old cry was the solution to everything. but i can't do that.
not while navigating on auto pilot.
but i want to.

i just want to stop.
go far, far away and then ....
i don't know.

i just know i can't be alone right now