Blue October

 So, I should have seen it coming, that some male friendships were really born out of the impossible hope of getting together. The only reason why they would stick around and be "my best friend" and do anything and everything for me. At least that's the narrative Im going with since I'm not getting a response.

Back track to 2021 when I last had a conversation with Joey because I wanted to check in on him and how they were holding up during the pandemic. and he told me that he was upset because I wasn't a good enough friend to him. A reminder to me, we stopped talking because his then girlfriend, Hershey, didn't want us talking. He married her and cut me off. when things were bad though, he would call, complain and disappear. One year for his birthday I dont remember when I wanted to check up on him, I found the wife on facebook and asked for permission to call him to check in and wish him a happy birthday.

And I told him all of this. he's like, I wasn't aware. ok, but its hard to be friends with someone who has cut you off. I keep trying because we promised each other that we would stay friends and I wanted to keep that. the line got disconnected and I tried calling him back and he wasn't answering anymore. until this day.

well, maybe not today, this past week, I wrote to him - one last time from my part and surprise surprise he didn't say anything. so I made the conscious effort of deleting his chat history. I can't erase that we were once friends and super close but I have chosen to love me. why force myself on someone who very clearly doesn't want me around.

in that respect, two songs of blue October came to mind.

Moving on

and 

this version of I Hope You're Happy

because I am moving on from him, but that doesn't mean I don't wish him well.

so try to remember that, I hope you're happy. I hope you're good. I hope you get what you wish for, and that you're well understood. and whatever your progress, I know that you'll be fine